It seems like staff writer / Tim Tebow look-alike Jim Cook is getting stronger as he moves along down the line with his look at the All-Star-less Chicago Bulls teams between Jordan and Rose. It would seem his look at the 2005 team is no different…enjoy.
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Here’s a serious question for you all before we dive into the next edition of this Chicago Bulls encyclopedia I am publishing c/o Romanisburning: Would you be happy or disappointed with earning a silver medal in the Olympics? On one hand, it’s nothing to be ashamed of being the second best in the entire world at your craft, but on the other hand, wouldn’t it haunt you to think about all the things you could have done differently that would have made the difference between your silver and the gold? I’m torn on which side of the fence I’d be on here. Good discussion for all of you around the water cooler or the bar or on a blind date or where ever you need to fill conversation time.
Ok, now things should get a little less depressing for a little bit. Under General Skiles, the Bulls made huge strides from the previous crappy year. It helped that the 2004 draft was the first one done right, in my opinion, since the Elton Brand and Ron Artest year (granted they decided to get rid of those bums). Being the second worst team in the league, the Bulls were granted the third overall pick in the draft. Due to some wheeling and dealing with the Phoenix Suns, John Pax was able to pick up the 7th overall pick in that same draft. Under Mr. Krause, the selections probably would have been a grade school kid and a guy that lists “Drinking and driving” under his hobbies. With the new regime in place, general manager Paxson decided to take the route of guys who were highly productive at successful basketball schools (see Hinrich, Kirk – Kansas). In the 3 spot, the Bulls were able to pick up sharpshooting guard Ben Gordon from UConn. At 7, it was a treat to see Luol Deng still on the board and he was swooped up to join the team to replace past swingmen like Ron Mercer and Eddie Robinson. Since both were significant contributors as rookies, I’m going to dedicate a paragraph of their own to both. And then we will discuss the second round picks. In case you were wondering where we were going with this.
Ben Gordon joined the Bulls and was an instant hit off the bench. He played in all 82 games, and provided a scoring spark that was so desperately needed. Averaging 15.1 ppg and shooting 40% from three point range, he became the 4th quarter go-to guy. To help make that previous statement more credible, I’m going to add the fact that he scored in double digits in the 4th quarter 21 times that season (second only to LeBron James, who did it 22 times). Not too shabby. For his efforts, he was awarded 6th Man of the Year, first award a Chicago Bull had won since MJ. Additionally, he’s the only rookie to win that award. Pretty nifty stuff, huh?
First off, Luol Deng does not look British. Oh yeah, Gordon is part British too. I’d add that above but couldn’t find the up button on my keyboard so it goes here. Anyways, as a 19 year old rookie, Deng provided much more consistency than his Brit counterpart, averaging 11.7 ppg and 5.3 rips per game. His season was cut short after only 61 games due to a wrist injury (probably fingerbanging tons of groupies), but he did start 45 of those games. I believe I started getting excited about Lou’s potential after his 30 point 11 rebound effort in a win over the Dallas Mavericks. Him, combined with Gordon and Hinrich, gave Bulls fans some excitement that they might have finally started finding a foundation to build around.
As for the second round picks, the Bulls selected Jackson Vroman but immediately sent him to the Suns (along with the 2005 first rounder) to complete the deal for Deng. With the 38th overall pick, Pax stuck to the script and picked Chris Du-du-du-Duhon, a productive point guard from Duke. To the best of every one’s knowledge, he did not ride a motorcycle. But he did like to hang out at Moe’s Cantina and a picture of him with my friends Sean Nelson and Brandon Arnold was published in the Red Eye. I have the picture on my fridge if any of you bitches want proof. But when he wasn’t crushing beers at Moe’s, he was playing in all 82 games, averaging 5.9 points and 4.9 assists per game. He also hit 8 three’s in a game against the Atlanta Hawks. In 9 shots. How the hell did he do that?
As for the significant moves this team made, there were a few but nothing earth shattering. Jamal Crawford, as the odd man out from the Bulls drafting about 30 guards in the previous two years, was packaged with Jerome “Junkyard Dog” Williams for Othella Harrington, Dikembe Mutombo, Frank Williams (yes, the dude from Illinois), and some Pollock who’s name I can’t spell and don’t want to fucking click back and forth trying to get it right cause there’s like 4 z’s in it. I felt like I was on a cocaine high when I heard Dikembe Mutombo was going to be a Chicago Bull. It was like a dream come true. To give you a sense of how awesome Mount Mutombo is, the NBA outlawed taunting of opponents, but they allowed Mutombo’s finger wag after a rejection. So before I could go through the bottle of lotion thinking about Mutombo’s 55 in the red and black, he was traded to the Rockets for Adrian Griffin, Eric Piatowski, and Mike Wilks. We had Eric Piatowski previously when he was named Fred Hoiberg. Good thing we got another white guard. Another major white guy pickup (seriously) was the signing of Andres Nocioni. I didn’t know anything about him except he was Argentinean and people said he was good and he looked like he smelled bad and hooked up with lots of chicks. But he turned out ok on the court too. Scottie Pippin, Kendall Gill, and (bout fucking time) Eddie Robinson were all cut at some point throughout the season. That’s a lot of dead weight there. Especially awful Eddie. So that should cover how we got this much improved roster. Jumping in to all the other shit I also hate writing…
Coach
General Scott Skiles was handed the keys to the car for the season and he took the young whippersnappers and turned them into a playoff team very quickly. Offensively, he was helped by the addition of Gordon, the contribution of Eddy Curry (huh? He was productive at some point?), and growth of Kirk. With the way I’m talking about all their offense, you’d think they finished first in points averaging like 300 per game. They didn’t, they finished 21st (out of 30), but let’s be real here, that’s a fuck-ton better than what it was before. Defensively, because Scotty was real crotchety about defense, the Bulls gritted their way to the 7th best D in the league. Not too bad. I was pleased.
Record
Make sure you’re sitting down for this one. And you probably are because you’d be a weirdo if you were reading this standing up. But the Bulls finished the season at 47-35, which was good for 2nd in the Central division and 4th in the Eastern Conference. It’s weird seeing those numbers without a 1 in front of them. For those that don’t understand the NBA, yes, it does mean that this squad qualified for the playoffs. Exciting stuff. Additionally, the Bulls continued to fill the United Center, ranking 2nd in the league in attendance. The fans sure kept coming. I’m curious who was outdrawing them in this time period. Someone look that up.
Longest win streak
9. I’m salivating just looking at the basketball-reference site reeling off all the wins in a row this year. They didn’t beat the league’s best teams during this stretch by any means, including 2 wins over the expansion Charlotte Bobcats (led by Marcus Fizer….you know he was going to find his way in this section). But 9 wins in a row is 9 wins in a row. Especially when you look at how the season started. If this were the news, that would be called a “tease” and it’s to entice you to keep tuned in through some boring stuff so that you stick around to see what I just alluded to.
Best win
God damn, there are just so many of them to choose from. It was a lot easier when there was just 12 wins to pick which one was the best. Now, I gotta actually look at some of the games to determine which one gets crowned THE BEST. And my answer my sound a little weird, but I think it really might have been a turning point on the season, and since I’m writing this phone book, what I say goes. But on Martin Luther King, Jr’s birthday, the Bulls had a matinee against the New York Knickerbockers at the Madison Square Garden. The Bulls were still working their way up to .500 and needed this game to keep the momentum moving in the right direction for a change. After falling behind double digits in the second quarter, things did not look good moving into the 4th quarter. It was there that Ben Gordon began his run as the big-shot guy for the Bulls. Catching fire in the 4th quarter, BG scored 14 of his 17 points in the final frame to single handedly pull the Bulls back into the lead, eventually hitting a floater with 0.9 seconds left to give the Bulls the winning margin. Double doubles were abundant as Kirk Hinrich (2 assists shy of a triple double in case you were curious), Luol Deng (7 assists shy of the triple), and Andres Nocioni (9 steals shy) all joined the double penetration club. Just checking to see if anyone actually catches that. It also helped that Jamal Crawford, a new Knick, shot about 2-49, including 0-7 from three range. Keep shooting bro.
Longest losing streak
9. And no surprise here, the Bulls STARTED THE FUCKING SEASON 0-9. Imagine how much better their record would have been if they didn’t just shit themselves in the first 9 games. How is it possible for them to be so bad at the start of every season? Why didn’t they just start camp a week early because it’s obvious they needed the extra time to get the shittyness out? That reminds me of the time the Cubs started like 0-14 one season. They suck too. Losers.
Worst loss
The very first game of the season that started that dreadful string was also the closest, against the New Jersey Nets. Even worse, it was a home game. The worstest of all is that the Bulls strung that game along to double overtime. Even more frustrating than my improper grammar, is that the Bulls chipped away at a 20 point halftime deficit to get that game to overtime but couldn’t finish the comeback. Led by the greatest game of Richard Jefferson’s life, a triple double 26 points, 21 boards, and 11 turnovers, the Nets were somehow able to win the game despite 30 turnovers. Jacque Vaughn played 40 minutes for the Nets and they still won. Kirk Hinrich scored 34 points, which was nice, and in both Nocioni and Deng’s debut, double doubles were had. Although Nocioni should have set off alarms by coming to a new team and shooting the fucking ball 19 times in his first game. Someone needs to remind him that this isn’t the YMCA.
Best moment
How about the Bulls making the playoffs as a best moment? Entering the playoffs as the 4 seed, they earned themselves some home court advantage. And what an advantage it was. Paired against the Washington Wizards (they should go back to being the Washington Bullets cause of that Arenas things…it would be ironic), the Bulls took the first two games easily. But that’s when the wheels started falling off. The Wizards, led by the aforementioned Arenas, Larry Hughes (he was good at one point, I swear), and Antawn Jamison, took the next four in a row. Included in that streak was their win in game 5 at the United Center to take a 3-2 series lead. I was at that game. The Bulls were down 10 with less than a minute left. Led by Janerro Pargo (seriously), the Bulls fought back and Pargo’s 3 pointer with 5 seconds left had the UC rocking. I was cheering loudly. Jim Leone, Dave Gaeger, and Mike Cloud all wanted to leave the game but I refused to let them. Life was good. And then with those 5 seconds, Larry Hughes hit a 16 foot jumper at the buzzer and it was the most quiet I had ever heard a stadium. We were in section 823 and we could hear the Wizards whoop and holler and talk about giving each other handies in the locker room. But as disappointing as that was, the Bulls had finally made the playoffs again and there was a lot to be excited about.
Funniest player to start 25% of the games
Toss up here between Othella Harrinton and Antonio Davis. I’m going to lean towards the big O cause that is slang for orgasm. I’m not sure what talents he had that kept him in the league for as long as he stuck around. He wasn’t that good at Georgetown, he was never that good in the NBA, but he kept getting a paycheck. And this big O started in 28 games for this team. How come he was getting starts and minutes over Tyson Chandler? I’d say to get Perdue on the phone but I really don’t care enough to drink his pee to find out what Skiles was thinking here. He did guide the team to the playoffs so he gets a pass here.
Other bozos on the roster
Lawrence Funderburke was added to the roster at the end of the year when the Bulls found out Eddy Curry had a heart or something…he actually saw action in playoff games; he was the biggest bozo of all, Adrian Griffin, Eric Piatowksi, Jared Reiner, Frank the tank Williams
Leading Scorer
Eddy Curry (16.1 ppg)
Leading rebounder
Tyson Chandler (9.1 rpg)…so we get to see some value for the Brand trade…even if he went for 20 and 9 himself
Leading ass.
Kirk Hinrich (6.4 apg)
And because I’m tired, I’m letting you all know that I typically find the pictures that go with these far-too-long-cause-nobody-reads-them season recaps. But today I’m putting Collin in charge of finding pictures of Andres Nocioni, Ben Gordon, Luol Deng, and Othella Harrington. If there are no accompanying pictures, it’s because he didn’t do it.
**Editors note: Don’t doubt me…ever!
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