Roman is Burning

Here is part 2 of staff writer/dog whisper Jim Cook’s eleven part series on the years between Chicago Bulls All-Star selections.

If you missed the 1999 team click here.

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Yesterday we reviewed the beginning of a long time of suckdom for the Bulls.  Incredibly, the 1999-2000 somehow had a lower winning percentage than their previous campaign.  I was surprised by this because of some of the quality young players they brought in that year.  With a brush of luck, the Bulls won the 1999 draft lottery and were able to use the #1 overall pick to bring in Elton Brand, the first player to ever leave Duke school early (back when Duke was good and won stuff).  Additionally, due to some wheeling and dealing, they were able to flip Luc Longley for the #16 pick to grab basically the Tim Tebow of college basketball at the time, Ron Artest.  To mix some of the old with the young, Jerry Krause was able to con the Seattle Supersonics (remember them) into trading him Hersey Hawkins for Brent Barry.  Yes, 1991 All-Star representative, Hersey Hawkins.  In an equally interesting move, Jerry thought it would be a good idea to bring back BJ Armstrong and Will Perdue.  I would drink a cup of Will Perdue’s pee to find out what the hell the conversations sounded like when debating bringing those two guys back to join the squad.  And lastly, and funniest to me, John Starks played 4 games for this year’s team.  I don’t think one person in Chicago liked John Starks and he was about 6 years past his prime at this point.

I tried to find some pictures of the bozos and there aren’t any.  I really did try.  It’s barely even documented on the ethernet that they even exist.

Coach

Still Tim Floyd.  He apparently was not an offensive genius as this year’s team was able to only muster 84.8 points per game.  This was good for last in the league.  Was he even drawing up plays?  The next lowest scoring team averaged 92 ppg.  That’s 4 more total baskets per game.  You’d think the Bulls were playing 4 on 5 on offense.

Record

17-65.  Worst in the Eastern Conference by a whole 11 games.  Just to give you an idea of how shitty the LA Clippers franchise is, they finished with a worse record again than the Bulls collection of stiffs.  The Clippers finished 52 games out of first that year FYI.

Longest win streak

3, no joke.  They beat the Washington Wizards in a home and home and then knocked off the Boston Celtics to achieve the status of “winning streak” according to Lou Brown.  Betcha could have guessed that the Wiz finished 13th in the East and the Celts, pre Garnett and being obnoxious, ended 10th.

Best win

The 1999-2000 Bulls must have been overlooked a couple of times because they pulled off the upset on the Miami Heat, the number 2 seed in the East, twice that season.  But the best win was when they legitimately knocked off the Indiana Pacers 83-82.  Aided by Reggie Miller shooting about as good as Sean Nelson that night (3-14, 6 points), the Bulls were victorious over the eventual Eastern Conference Champions that year.  Elton Brand scored 28 points and Chris Carr (huh) chipped in 15.  Hersey Hawkins played 13 minutes and scored 0 points.  Nice.

Longest losing streak

11.  It can be noted that the 99-00 Bulls did not start out too hot.  Team began the season going 2-26, which is funny because then they won their next three.  See two paragraphs above.  Their 11 game losing streak was proceeded by a win, which ended a 10 game losing streak.  No es bueno.

Worst loss

Surprisingly, there weren’t too many awful losses on the resume this season.  The one game that sticks out however, is a loss at Vancouver.  Getting spanked 101-76 to a team that won only 22 games probably wasn’t on the “Goals” list for the team that year.  Matt Maloney shot 0-7 that night (he played for the Bulls).

Best moment

Ron Artest admitting that he would drink Hennessey at halftime of games.  Please check out this link and read about this guy. http://espn.go.com/blog/truehoop/post/_/id/11160/when-your-game-face-features-hennessy-breath How did nobody notice that he was drinking liquor at his locker?  How did nobody look around the huddle during a timeout and say “Damn, it smells like booze in here”?  I wish I could get drunk at work.  Well, I did…and then they fired me.

Funniest player to start at least 25% of the games

Dickey Simpkins.  I think he has more of a calling as a TV broadcaster as evident by the call he made on Derrick Rose’s dunk the other night.  Other guys who started more than 10 games for the Bulls that season: Fred Hoiberg, Chris Antsey, Matt Maloney, Corey Benjamin.

Other bozos on the roster

Khalid Reeves, Rusty LaRue (x2), Kornel David (x2), Dedric Willoughby, Chris Antsey, Matt Maloney, Will Perdue, The Mayor Fred Hoiberg

Leading scorer

Elton Brand (20.1 ppg)

Leading rebounder

Brand (10 rpg)

Leading ass. man

Toni Kukoc (5.2 apg…ouch).