Roman is Burning

I know we are a little late with the congrats to D. Rose on his 2010 NBA All-Star selection but great job D. Rose, well done.  As most of you know by this point it has been 12 long years since Michael Jordan last represented the Chicago Bulls in the All-Star game.  First off how the hell does this happen in one of the biggest NBA markets in the league?  You don’t’ think the Bulls would have accidently stumbled upon one guy worthy of a selection?  Apparently not I guess.

To celebrate Rose’s All-Star selection, staff writer/bad gambler Jim Cook will be taking a look back at all the Bulls teams over the last 11 years that were All-Star-less.  As you take this magical journey down memory lane you will laugh, you will cry, you will be like, “Jake Voskuhl?  That ass-hole played for the Bulls?”

So stay tuned for a new team every few days.  First up, the lovely squad from the 1999 season.

_____________________________________________________

Wow…I can’t believe this was 11 years ago.  Our Chicago Bulls were one season removed from winning their 6th NBA title in 8 years, MJ ended his career in the most fitting way possible, and I was in 8th grade on our school trip to Washington DC.  Everyone loved Michael Jordan and everyone loved the Bulls.  But it was the end of the dynasty and it was well known that the team was going to tear it down and build it back up.  Jerry Krause, the GM at the time, was determined to prove he could build a championship team without Jordan, Pippen, and Jackson.  Unfortunately for him, this was a terrible decision.  I hate when sports executives make stupid decisions.  But anyways, this was the first year of the rebuilding era.  It was a unique season in that Jordan, Pippen, Dennis Rodman, Phil Jackson, Luc Longley, Steve Kerr, and Jud Buechler were all jettisoned from the championship teams.  Quite a big loss, especially considering you replaced them with a collection of stiffs and journeymen.  But, despite all that, there were still contributors from the title teams on the 98-99 squad.  Guys like Ron Harper, Toni Kukoc (I have a GREAT story about him by the way), and Randy Brown were the major players for the squad.  Turning these role players into the featured artists, as you probably could have guessed, did not work out real well.  It was the start of 11 years of NBDL quality players your Chicago Bulls churned out for us fans.  Luckily for us, the season was shortened to 50 game due to the players lockout.

Coach

Tim Floyd…how does he keep getting good coaching jobs?  The Bulls, then was hired to help grow a young Chris Paul and the Hornets, USC with OJ Mayo (and Taj Gibson)…geez.  Shouldn’t this guy go play some lottery tickets instead?

Season Record

13-37…good for last place in the Eastern Conference by 2 games.  Sadly enough, they were not the worst team in the league that year.  Both the LA Clippers (led by Maurice Taylor) and the Vancouver Grizzles (Bryant Reeves averaged 10.8 points per game) had more awful records than the crappy Bulls.

Longest win streak

2 twice.

Best win

3rd to last game of the season, they went on the road and beat the Miami Heat.  Miami was the number one seed in the East that season and the Bulls showed no mercy, winning 101-86.  The Waiter, Toni Kukoc went for 25 and 12 assists.  Tim Hardaway and Alonzo Morning must have spent the night before doing incredible amounts of coke and running through hookers like Sully at the OCB line.  At least thats what I’d do if I lived in Miami.

Longest Losing streak

7, twice…including the streak that started on game 3.  Way to get the season off on the right foot.  Keep that in mind, you’re going to see a theme soon.

Worst loss

Once again, the Miami Heat show up in the best/worse game category.  I’m not even kidding on the score…82-49.  The Bulls scored 49 points.    Are you fucking kidding me?  49?  Thats averaging 12 a quarter.  This is still the record for least amount of points scored in an NBA game.  They sucked so much that it broke the record at the time by 6 points.  Cmon.  The leading scorer that night was Kornel David with 13 points (and 10 boards…what the hell?).

Best moment

The Bulls going out in free agency and replacing Jordan, Pippen, and Rodman with…Brent Barry.  Well, at least he did win the 1996 Slam Dunk contest by jumping from about a foot in front of the foul line.  I’m gonna dunk one day.  I’m too lazy to do the research, but is he the only white guy to win the Dunk contest?  They should do that this year, a dunk contest with only white guys.  I tried real hard to find just one picture of Brent in a Bulls uniform and I absolutely couldn’t.

Funniest player to start at least 25% of the games

Andrew Lang.  I have no idea who the hell Andrew Lang is.  I thought he was a winger for the Hawks.  Guy played for 7 different teams.  He was once traded for Charles Barkley.  He averaged 3.8 points per game for the Bulls in 98-99.  So basically he sucked big time.

Other bozos on the roster

Rusty LaRue, Corey Benjamin, Keith Booth, Kornel David, Mark Bryant

Leading scorer

Toni Kukoc (18.2 per game)

Leading rebounder

Kukoc (7 rpg)

Leading assister (assistee?)

Surprise surprise, Kukoc (5.3 apg)